Inside scoop on the private conversations between General Managers and potential first-round draft picks:
1. Jacksonville Jaguars: "How many retired uniform numbers do we have, zero. But you're the one to break this glass ceiling. Imagine having a retired Jacksonville Jaguar jersey! "
2. New York Jets: "Have you heard we won Super Bowl III?"
3. San Francisco 49ers: "Sure, everyone is leaving Silicon Valley, but what we got here is a new gold rush."
4. Atlanta Falcons: "How about this stadium? It only cost $1.4 billion, and the commuter traffic to get here is absolutely horrendous."
5. Cincinnati Bengals: "Our cheerleaders are called the Cincinnati Ben-Gals. See what we did there? That's called wordsmithing."
6. Miami Dolphins: "We are going to host a Formula One race in our parking lot next year. We'll make sure you get good tickets."
7. Detroit Lions: "Sure, it snows in April, but we got Selden Standard, Shinola, and Third Man Records to keep us feeling good."
8. Carolina Panthers: "Charlotte, it's like Atlanta but not as cool."
9. Denver Broncos: "We've won two, but we've also lost a league-high five Super Bowls, by a cumulative score of 206-58. Impressive."
10. Dallas Cowboys: "We are the wealthiest team in the NFL, with an estimated value of approximately $4 billion. We generate almost $620 million in annual revenue. America's Team."
11. New York Giants: "The Giants were founded by Tim Mara with an investment of $500 and named after a baseball team. We also beat the Golden Boy in a Super Bowl."
12. Philadelphia Eagles: "Yeah, our fans, they scare me too."
13. Los Angeles Chargers: "Started in Los Angeles, then San Diego, and back to Los Angeles. What does it all mean, an all-time record below .500."
14. Minnesota Vikings: "The NFL's most popular team in Scandinavia."
15. New England Patriots: "Belichick is cool. Seriously."
16. Arizona Cardinals: "Rod Tidwell was amazing, but you know that was a movie, right?"
17. Las Vegas Raiders: "Just Win, Baby!"
18. Miami Dolphins: "The Dolphins recognize more than 30 "Finatic" websites. 30!"
19. Washington Anonymous Nobodies: "We train in Virginia, we play in Maryland, and never enter Washington DC. Plus, we have no nickname or any idea how to win in this league."
20. Chicago Bears: "Those Chicago Bears Superfans on SNL are hilarious. Let me give you my impression: 'The city of big shoulders, and home, of course, to a certain football team, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of professional football greats. That team, which is known the world over, as, Da Bears!' Nailed it."
21. Indianapolis Colts: "Indy sounds exactly like 'Indie.' Which is short for 'independent.' Get it? Like when we said we need to be independent of Baltimore and move to Indianapolis."
22. Tennessee Titans: "It can't be Nashville every night."
23. New York Jets: "Did we mention we won Super Bowl III?"
24. Pittsburgh Steelers: "The Steelers are the first team to win four Super Bowls and the only team to win back-to-back Super Bowls twice. Any questions?"
25. Jacksonville Jaguars: "You'll love playing real football in London. Check this, a home game in London nets the Jaguars twice what home games at TIAA Bank Field in Northeast Florida generate. Got it?"
26. Cleveland Browns: "To be honest, we tried, and not even The Super League would have us."
27. Baltimore Ravens: "I am going to let you in on a little secret why we are so freakin' good. Old Bay. We put it on everything, and we put it in everything. Old Bay."
28. New Orleans Saints: "The nickname? The Saints were awarded an NFL expansion team on November 1, 1966, which just happened to be All-Saints Day."
29. Green Bay Packers: "We like to see our QBs prepping for the season by hosting Jeopardy. Smart."
30. Buffalo Bills: "We won a playoff game for the 1st time since 1995, and our QB Josh Allen wasn't born until 1996."
31. Baltimore Ravens: “I am not joking. Old Bay. It's like duct tape but for food."
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "TB12 is such a god; he throws the Lombardi Trophy around like Kevin Bacon tossed those sacks of flour in Footloose."
